Wednesday, November 26, 2014


The moment at night when I look in the mirror and the lights of outside reflect so beautifully in it from behind my back, it makes me think of Christmas... It makes me calm down and enjoy the lights that seem out of other story. I tried to turn around a few times and glance out the window, but they look completely different that way. So I hold up my mirror and turn my look into it, and the magic is back! My personal imaginary magic, my beautiful lights, so warm and bright in the foggy night... Completely my private feeling, locked inside my heart, my littlest thing in the world that brings so much peace at night... Thank you lights!

Monday, November 3, 2014


Where to put the milion toughts that run through my mind every night? How to separate the good from the bad ones? Or maybe they're just running in my dream, a nightmare that keeps coming over and over again and wakes me every night at 4a.m. sharp... With eyes wide open in the dark I realise then it's even worst when I wake up because they turn into reality. No longer a nightmare, but a daymare. I find myself sitting alone on a bench, around me nothing but fear covered in darkness, no living soul to reach out for. Maybe I'm in a cemetery, maybe I'm dead and don't realise it, that's how my soul feels on the lonely bench in the middle of my fear... "Come out..", but nothing's moving. "Please..". But the only thing I am allowed to see are shadows standing still, shadows of my fears and horror, monsters lurking to grab my soul when I look away. "Don't blink, they'll grab you" as I wait for my wet eyes to turn into glass, my thoughts to turn into mist and my body to become stone...


Sometimes it just comes to you. Complicated things from your past suddenly make sense really easily. And when you think about the headaches and the nerves you once put into it, just to realize the answer was right in front of you. Sometimes it's all black or white, no complications, no hidden agenda. Knowing this is good enough to give me butterflies in my stomach...